I have just a few days left till I am officially in the Army. Well scratch that, I am technically a member of the US Army but I have been on delayed departure due to my Basic Training not beginning till August 1st. This has been an incredible process and quite the journey, to be sure.
I have learned a lot along the way. And I could go into detail about some of the more insidious things that I have been educated on, but this is not the place for dirty little secrets. Instead I would like to focus on the fruit that the Lord has been patiently dealing with in my spirit. Unfortunately, as of this writing I have yet to manifest what could be deemed as sweet-tasting fruit. They are still a bit bitter and need to stay on the vine a while longer.
For those of you who may be a little confused, the Lord wants His people to bear fruit. These being the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and faithfulness. I believe self-control falls in there somewhere and naturally, we (meaning me, myself, and I) are still working on that one.
I was going to say that patience is one that I will never acquire but the more I think about it, the more I have been seeing patience developing within my character. Not to toot my own horn, but I have been semi-patient throughout this entire process. The road to the military has been a path fraught with lessons in patience. There have been some let-downs along the way but in the end, the Lord has been faithful in dealing with me and my flaws. As many in my family will attest to, I have some rather irritating character defects. But I am pretty sure the majority of them will be ironed out in the Army. But I dare say there is no cure for orneriness. Being ornery goes to the core.
Back to the topic at hand. I came back to the US last August. I have been living with family since then, both in Illinois and here in Florida, where I enlisted in the Army. Originally I had tried to enter as an officer but that fell through in April. I will admit I was a bit devastated but God had other things in mind. And it was during this time He taught me a big lesson on trust. I actually heard an audible voice, a whisper if you will, right to my heart. NOT from my heart, because the heart itself is deceitful, but TO my heart. "You don't trust me, Jason, and you need to." That was the simplified version of the monologue. One of the few times I actually shut up long enough for the Lord to speak to me. He also insisted that I keep my mouth shut over the course of the next couple of days and let those around me do the speaking. So what does one do when the Lord tells one to keep a lid on it?
I kept a lid on it. So far so good. I am slowly trusting the Lord more and more. I will say that I am going about it at a snail's pace. I am a slow learner. And there have been a multitude of mistakes made along the way, since April in fact. I figure that once God gets my personal life in order, when I actually sign over my lease on my life, I will be in a lot better shape. Cause the world goes to pot when Jason is in control. That is another blog topic in and of itself. When God is in control vs. when Jason is in control.
When I did keep my mouth shut, the Lord orchestrated His desired plan and now I am going in the military as an enlisted soldier. I still want to be an officer someday but I guess I have to go about it in another way. God's plans are difficult sometimes, but true fulfillment and peace are the outcome whenever I do it His way.
Let me reiterate that I am a SLOW learner. I have a lot of growing to do. And God has a great deal of work left to do in my life so that I am able to grow the fruit that will be pleasing to Him as an offering. 9 times out of 10 I do the wrong thing and let my mouth and heart get the best of me. But God is faithful with that 1 time where I do the right thing and He has infinite patience. Lord knows I have tested that patience time and time again. I should have been struck down by holy lightning years ago. But His love is vast and all encompassing. I sure don't deserve it and neither do you. But He dishes out His love for all and there is so much truth behind this last statement," Ain't no one can do ya like the Lord can."
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